Genre: fail!Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Not me, lucky SME.
Summary: It only started as a mark for commercial activity such as fanservice, yet the feeling grew bigger in Kangin's case.
Warning: Warning for my bad grammar only?
Note: This is somewhat a spin-off/prequel of my previous When the Fact is not as Good as a Fiction, (most of you who want to know what's wrong with Kangin's weird personality in the previous fic, read this as an answer! ^_^) but they can be read as separate stories. This is a drabble-like fic, which each drabble is based on pics linked to each titles.
Kangin always loved Leeteuk.
It started when SM paired them as partner, to give the fans fanservices as much as possible. He touched Leeteuk and vice versa, smiled to Leeteuk and vice versa, and finally they became as popular as HanChul couple, with the name of KangTeuk couple.
It only started as a mark for commercial activity such as fanservice, yet the feeling grew bigger in Kangin's case.
Before he knew it, the skinship he did with Leeteuk on the stage was followed by his throbbing heart. The dimpled smile Leeteuk gave him--not only on the stage, but also in their daily life--made him blushing and longing to touch him.
He didn't know since when did it happened, but he simply noticed it, the way he touched Leeteuk was not a fanservice anymore.
Drabble 1; Complication 1
Their mini-drama was one of Kangin's ways to confess his feeling to Leeteuk. He has planned everything: it would start by their 'almost-gay' mini-drama, where there would be a scene when he kissed Leeteuk's forehead as a proof that he loved him. He would do it, he would, and when the shooting is over, he'd come to his beloved hyung and confess thing such as "hyung, you know that confession is not a lie, right" and kiss him on the lips, and when Leeteuk certainly surprised he would confess, more bluntly this time, with a "saranghae", when the cameras were not around them so it would look like that he was not lying.
Everything Kangin has planned was perfect.
He moved closer to his hyung when the director said: "Action!" with cameras all around them. Leeteuk was standing hopelessly on the wall, absorbing himself to his current hopeless-loving-boy role. Kangin couldn't help to see those closed eyes, long eyelashes shown right in front of him--he just wanted to take it right away. It's just a shooting for their mini-drama, yet Kangin craved for more. He put his hands on Leeteuk's small shoulders, moving slowly to Leeteuk's face as their faces were only an inch away--but Leeteuk kept pulling back his head from Kangin's until it bumped the wall and he's laughing like crazy, hid his face from Kangin, whispering a loud "Stop it, sorry I can't, I mean, the kiss--we're guys, it's just weird!"
That's when Kangin felt that he was trapped in a one-sided love.
Drabble 2; Complication 2
It was in their Don't Don days, when their fanservice was still going on like there was nothing between them. There was nothing between them, yet there was something in Kangin's heart. Leeteuk just didn't know it.
When they were in the interview, Leeteuk was standing behind Kangin, sometimes massaged his shoulders as a mark of fanservice. The younger didn't response, it was usual for him--but he couldn't hide his wide smile when Leeteuk touched his neck continuously.
They never did that kind of fanservice before. Kangin smiled in hope; did Leeteuk touch him to make Kangin notice him? Was he jealous of the mic in Kangin's hand?
"Hyung," He finally turned his head to Leeteuk when he couldn't feel the older's hands on his neck anymore, smirking. "Are you jealous? Don't worry; I pay attention to you too!"
Suddenly, Leeteuk just raised his eyebrows in a confused manner. "What? I'm just tidying your collar."
That's when Kangin noticed that Leeteuk only considered him as a mere dongsaeng--just like a little brother--which meant his position is equal to the other members.
Not a partner, nor a best friend, nor –even- a lover. Just a little brother, which had to passed a really long journey to become a lover.
Drabble 3; Complication 3
Kangin has dropped his plan since his mini-drama, but he still had a hope left. He wanted Leeteuk to cry when he would go to military. He wanted Leeteuk to cry over his departure just like what the oldest did when Boom has gone, that way he could know that he was important in Leeteuk's life.
And when the day has finally come, he couldn't help but hug his one-sided lover. He couldn't help but to cry for wouldn't see him in 2 years. The strongest man in Super Junior, cried because he wouldn't meet his friends anymore.
Yet, Leeteuk's gentle smile toward him only burdened him more. Yes, Leeteuk didn't cry--he smiled. There's form of tears in the corner of his eyes, but he didn't cry like he did when Boom’s gone. He didn't cry histerically like he did whenever Super Junior won an award.
When Kangin released the leader, one of the members (he couldn’t see who he was; because he’s too confused to see anyone but Leeteuk) finally teased Leeteuk, "It's so unusual to see you do not cry, Teukie."
Kangin was standing on his spot silently, trying to overhear their conversation. Leeteuk's answer surprised him though.
"Are you kidding me," Leeteuk laughed slightly. "There's no way I'll cry toward my dongsaeng. I have a pride too!"
Since then, Kangin stopped making wish.
Drabble 3; Resolution
Kangin almost forgot how he used to love Leeteuk since he has new friends in the military camp. All of his new friends were fascinating, it made him almost forgot all of the pain and heavy burden he had in his mind for a long time--and that included his feeling to Leeteuk.
He almost forgot Leeteuk's existence when a year has passed and there was a new boy in the military’s newcomers--Park Jungsu. Now a junior, now only his direct subordinate.
Kangin almost forgot, but his deepest heart obviously couldn't forget Leeteuk.
So he tried his best not to care the older man, turned his face whenever he passed by, closed his ears whenever his friends gossiping something about either his pretty feature or how they bullied him. Kangin always told his heart to not to care him, since caring Leeteuk would make him fall in love once more and another love would lead him into another major heartbreak.
But he couldn't.
"Teukie--Park Jungsu," He's managed to face Leeteuk one day, standing in all of his glory with a kinda dirty military uniform which made him look more masculine, hands clutched tight and eyes glared sharp, yet his body was trembling slightly. Leeteuk was in front of him, being naked, tears adorned his adorable eyes. Kangin’s eyes tried not to stick much to that tears, he continued his sentence. "I'm not your dongsaeng anymore, am I?"
A/N: Comments are <3!!! :)